Well I've been ordered to issue an announcement regarding the health of one of the team at The Glass Barrel.

Following a misterious accident or incident we had to get an emergency operation to amputate the injured appendage.

I'm please to announce that ''Shitpet'' (Barrel Cat) is now recovering with half a tail and getting used to being called ''Stumpy'' If nothing else its good comedy value being too long to look Manx like and too short to look usefull.

As it will be obviously too small for you, how is Shaggers "Davy Crockett" hat coming along? :huh:

Aaaww... how sweet!

Fuckin' superb Mr Webby, sitting here pissing my sides. :hic

Hehe... It was a rush job...I coulda done a better effort at home B)

...

YOU'RE GOING TO GET ME IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!!!! :whistle

He looks at home with it on his head though :(

...

Apparently shitpet has an over active thyroid which means it can't eat enough to maintain it's size (much like myself ) Apparently it's metabolism is racing (must be buzzin' it's tits off )- so it's now on tablets for the rest of it's life.
Vet said it can go out again - coz it's doing our heads in!!!! Dispite looking like a comedy cat.

You putting it on show tonight? :thumb

Get in early and watch me getting the pill down the neck of a hissing, clawing, biting, breakdancing cat!!!!

Fuck the band, we can just have you on stage :lol: :lol:
I'll be in 8:30-8:45 ish... Alix will be in later.

Play wrestle the cat into the carry box !

Bit like the Seth Efriken twat fuckin' with snakes!

He won't bite... he's quite relaxed.... :whistle

Almost famous last words!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

At least you wouldn't need an antidote, but the cat would for a boot up it's arse! :lol:

That's probably wht it had to have half it's tail chopped off in the first place!

Anyway, has it tried leaping yet and failed miserably to balance? :blink: :whistle

Dunno - I brought it back from the vet, it ate Shadrack's food and pissed off out but I didn't see it do any stunt stuff. Then I had to go to work.

Gonna have to do a assault course for it, full of leaps & jumps :D

How To Give A Cat A Pill



If you have ever tried to give a cat a pill you know

how difficult it is. The following instructions are fool proof!

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm
as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either
side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while
holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from under chair. Cradle cat
in left arm and repeat process.


3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding
rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill
to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.


5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top
of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees. Holding
front and rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse
to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler
into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make a note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully
sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with it's head
just visible from beneath spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking
straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink
glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm
and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10.Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force
mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply
cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanus shot.
throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly
to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage.
Force cat's mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followed}
by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint
of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly
while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants
from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home to order
a new table.

15. Arrange for vet to make housecall.



I hope this helps! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

PMSL! That cheered me up :thumb :lol: :lol:

Tan you've been watching - we were thinking off charging people to watch ''Cage Fighting with Cats''

Shitpet is now being called ''Comedy Cat'' with it's six inches of pepperami as a tail it usually causes people to near piss themselves when they see it.

You'd think it would get easier but it doesn't, it still fights like the first time every time you have to give it it's pills.

what pills are they????

could do with some of those

i eat like a fat twart and am still built like an african distance runner.

also..... will someone introduce me to webby i still dunno who he is.

genius pics webster. :lol:

This is Webby you must know him

Yeah, you must know me :thumb

Yea i know you ,you were at that wedding with that Alix girl.......wotever happened
to her????............. ;)

Dunno :(











Oh yeah, she's here B)

ahah.
now i know.
just hadn't put the name to a face!!!!

i was envisioning (<-- spelling??) bald head and spex...... B) <--- though not as cool as him!

i'd like to point out that this is post number 69 from me..... do i get anything for that?

Nope not from us !!!! :unsure:
You shud have made your own arrangements for this auspicious occasion!!
............... ;)

I do wear me spex every now and then but not bald thankfully :D

PMSL @ PV :lol: :lol:

Glyn, no bus pass for post 70 either!!! Is it all worth it??? :rolleyes:

well i'll just walk on by to post 70 then.

was hoping for a fanfare.......
or another beer glass under me name.......
some kind of ceremonial act......

or maybe mutual oral sex with a willing female of my choice
:( :hehe:

You'll get another beer soon.... I think.
'willing female of your choice'? are you kidding? ;)

You hold this forum too highly for yr escapisms and expectations you get nothing
here for 2 in a bed,or win prizes for potting the red,no award ceremony and meeting the queen and def no sexy model with whom you want to be seen....
now move along folks,move along nothing to see here!!!

ha, says mr two an a half thousand posts!!!

I have too much time!!! :(
And its only 2,439 posts.............so dont exxagerate!! <_<